


A Tale Told by An Idiot

by phnelt



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: 2012!Loki - Freeform, 2023!Thor, 2023!Thor makes friends with 2012!Loki, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Humour, Post-Endgame, THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED, endgame spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 09:54:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18689149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phnelt/pseuds/phnelt
Summary: Thor tries to spend quality time with Loki. Loki isn't so keen.





	A Tale Told by An Idiot

**Author's Note:**

> This wouldn't exist except for kangeiko.
> 
> Me: ha wouldn't it be hilarious watching 2023!Thor try to be friends with 2012! Loki? Thor knows all of his tricks  
> kangeiko: or, have you considered [redacted for too much angst]  
> me: D:
> 
> But since I don't have that much angst in me, this story was born.

After Loki escaped with the Tesseract, he stayed as far away from Earth and Asgard as he could. Whenever he heard a rumour of Thor or the Avengers, he simply moved on, using the stone to jump to wherever he could think of. He did hear some rumblings, potentially some Dark Elf activity, some rumours of Asgard decaying in power, but he never let himself dwell on them.

He fell in with some skrulls, who at the very least appreciated his shapeshifting powers, and roamed the galaxy, generally having a good time. It was freeing, really, to have no burden of leadership, no judgmental glances from Thor. It was great! And not at all mind-numbingly boring.

He was considering returning home, perhaps five years would be enough to be forgiven -- not that he needed to be forgiven, he was entirely justified. 

Which shows that you should be careful for what you wish for, as he felt a strange tingling and then nothing.

Blackness.

It only lasted a moment, but when he came back to on the small moon he’d been making a home on, things had changed. Loki’s witching ways allowed him some stronger sense of the flow of time, and time was out of joint.

“What is going on?”

***

Apparently what was going on was that he had been  _ dead  _ \--again -- for five years. But now he was back. And so was everyone else.

Everyone was hugging and crying, and desperately clinging to their newfound relations, but Loki was just as he always was. Alone.

Oh and apparently Asgard had been destroyed, so there went that fantasy, as childish as it was.

***

So he drifted. He had an extremely strange run-in with the Grandmaster of Sakaar and made a mental note not to return to that planet any time soon.

He almost became used to the idea that this was his new existence, when suddenly, when he was simply shopping for fruit at the main market of Halfworld out of the corner of his eye, he saw Thor who seemed to be purchasing a large quantity of fermented yak’s milk.

Loki stilled. Maybe he could turn and casually leave. But Thor had clearly seen him first and was now charging towards him, bellowing like an enraged mother boar. 

Surely he could not still be angry?

Loki braced himself.

Thor crashed into him with the force of the wave against the cliff, wrapping both arms around him, lifting him bodily into the air.

“Brother!” Thor cried joyfully, “How has this come to be?”

Loki opened his mouth. To say what, he couldn’t say.

“No, nevermind, it does not matter. It is only good you are alive.” Thor had put him down, but not let him go. Thor started marching him in a new direction, away from the crowded areas of the market. Thor’s voice was quieter, “After Thanos killed you, I knew you were dead, I did not let myself hope. And yet here you are.”

Loki understood now, this was the delayed moment that his skrull companions had already experienced. “I am alright brother, we have all returned after our time spent dead.” Loki gave him a pat, attempting to be reassuring. But the furrow between Thor’s brow only deepened.

“Loki,” Thor said slowly, “Thanos crushed the life out of you. I was there. I saw him do it. You were already dead when he took the rest.” Thor seemed hesitant. It was an odd look on him. “Don’t you remember?”

***

Turned out, Thor had gained some guile in the time they had been apart. Loki could have laughed.

Instead of dragging Loki off to jail, or making another false plea for brotherly unity, Thor was attempting to twist reality into a vision where Loki had  _ already  _ decided to come back into the Asgardian fold.

Loki almost admired the audacity of the plan.

Almost.

Instead he smiled, and nodded as Thor explained of Asgard’s destruction, Loki’s death and Thor’s subsequent time travel, and when the moment was right, he stabbed Thor and fled into the night.

***

How  _ dare  _ Thor attempt to use Loki’s own tactics to subdue him? Loki invented lying.

***

And he told him just as much the next time that they ran into each other. It was possible that Loki had come to this godsforsaken rock on purpose after hearing that the Lady Gamora had been seen there. Now that he was looking, it was annoyingly easy to keep track of Thor. Thor was  _ Famous _ as one of those who had brought down Thanos.

It must have been everything Thor had wanted. The acclaim, the worship. He was probably getting his fermented yak’s milk for free.

Loki wasn’t sure why Thor had teamed up with known criminals on some hunt to find a missing member of their ragtag bunch, but it was probably something asinine like the greater good.

He attempted to explain why Thor was the one who needed to leave of harassing Loki. “You tied me up, muzzled me, and were carting me off to prison. Do you know how how difficult it was to get those bounds off?” Loki still shuddered thinking of it. He probably still owed that dwarf a favour.

Thor just looked at him puzzled. Then some awareness flickered in his eyes, like a candle from very far away.

“Loki, that’s not what happened,” Thor’s voice was earnest, and Loki found himself listening despite himself. “You didn’t break free, you went to prison. You helped me.” Thor straightened up, “I don’t know what sorcery brought you back or why you don’t remember, but.” Thor reached out a hand towards Loki. “We were friends, brother. At the end of all things.”

Loki triggered the tesseract.

***

Thor kept showing up, annoyingly. And just as annoyingly, he was just as happy to see Loki every time. Nothing Loki did seemed to put him off, which was actually quite concerning. That man was the King of Asgard, it didn’t inspire a lot of confidence in his leadership.

“Loki!” He would beam, through the bars of the prison Loki had tricked him into. “How have you been?” 

“Loki!” Thor shouted in between bursts of blaster fire as the crime lord’s henchmen shot at both of them, indiscriminate violence in the face of Loki’s targeted deception, “I got a tattoo! It’s of the bifrost! Let me show you,” and then he attempted to  _ pull off his shirt  _ right in the middle of the firefight. 

“Loki?” Thor asked, as Loki struggled against the bonds that Thor had trapped him with. He was muzzled again. He hated being muzzled. They were inside the ship that Thor wandered around in. “I would apologise for the bounds, but I know that your honour requires you to attempt to disable me. So I took away the option this time.” He paused for a second, “You’re welcome.” He was honestly pleased with himself, like Loki’s earnest attempts to destroy him were some sort of fun game they were playing.

Loki collapsed into his bounds. If Thor didn’t hate it, then it did sort of take the fun out of resisting.

“Anyway, since it is a special occasion, I wanted to spend some time with you, one-on-one.” Thor beamed. 

In the corner, a tree said, “I Am Groot.”

“Well, and my friend Groot.” Thor leaned in. “Between you and me, they don’t know you like I do and decided we shouldn’t be alone. But no matter, Groot will keep any secrets you decide to share.” 

Loki just glared at him, trying to convey with a shrug of his shoulders and a glare of his eyes how much he truly despised Thor and his unfunny jesting.

“Anyway,” Thor reached behind him and pulled out a present. “Happy Birthday.” Loki eyed the package. “We’ll drop you off now -- with the key, I remember what you said about getting out of the ties. I hope you like your present.” Thor stood, getting ready to go.

“And remember, Loki, you’re always my brother, you’ll never be truly alone.” Loki would have gagged at the sentimentalism if he hadn’t seen the distinct gleam in Thor’s eye.  _ He knows what he’s doing,  _ Loki realised. Which was slowly torturing Loki through affection. Loki was convinced that Thor was the most insufferable person in the galaxy.

***

Despite himself, he unwrapped the package. It was a pair of perfectly balanced vibranium daggers. They hummed with a rightness when he picked them up.

They came with a note:  _ Since you left your last dagger in my ribs :) :) _

***

By the time that Loki is forced to return to Earth with Thor, he’d grudgingly beginning to believe that Thor isn’t working some scheme against him, but rather that Thor has gone dramatically mad since Thanos, imagining a whole life they never lived. Loki couldn’t fault him, this type of madness is poetic in its own way, like their cousin who still believed he was fighting bilgesnipes. Outside of the battlefield it was a nuisance, but put him next to a foe and there was no better friend to have. Perhaps Thor’s madness had a use as well.

Currently it was of some use because Loki was easily able to gain access to his ship and...crew, such as they were. The crew were oddly accepting of his presence. Last time he’d been bound, gagged, and supervised, which while infuriating, had been a fitting response to his antagonism. This time, he was wandering the ship freely. He’d taken to using small magics to hide the human’s plastic treasures in increasingly creative locations around the ship. His cries of frustration were the only thing that made the trip bearable.

Eventually he asked the blue one about his unexpected freedom of movement.

“I have a name,” she said and stared at him uncannily until he relented. When he asked again, she simply blinked at him and said, “he’s happy when you’re around.”

Loki frowned. Thor was always happy. It was one of his worst qualities. “Thor is always happy,” he said dismissively.

Nebula just tilted her head at him. “You don’t know him,” she said simply, and walked away. 

Loki just shook his head. Perhaps Thor was less exuberant than he had been when he was young, but unhappy? Thor had never been unhappy. The shadow never touched him.

But if that’s why they let him aboard, he would accept it. He had no other options.

Due to a misunderstanding that did not need to be explored at this juncture, he had to make a speedy departure from Xandarian space with very little money. Luckily Thor was nearby, presumably doing something wholesome like rebuilding orphanages.

“Actually, we were cashing in a bounty with the Xandarian high command. They pay quite well for the return of any of their artifacts that may have been...misplaced,” Thor smiled as he explained.

The rabbit explained further, “And it just so happened that we may or may not have already had a few Xandarian bits around that we’d failed to fence on some other planets.” The rabbit was shoulder deep in the guts of the ship, casually tossing parts behind him. Loki was repelled, not just by the cavalier way he was disassembling the only thing separating them from the vacuum of space -- not a place Loki wanted to go back to -- but also by the idea that Thor willingly went along with these brigands. It just seemed...wrong. He should be overjoyed that finally others were seeing Thor for who he was, just a man, no better than any other, but ultimately, it took the fun out of it a little.

And worse, Thor didn’t see it as a degradation at all. He seemed happy to go along.

Thor must have noticed some of Loki’s spasm of distaste because he paused, tankard midway to his lips, brow furrowed. “Loki, what--” 

But what would never be answered as the human shouted from the front, “Earth’s up! We’re coming in.”

***

“When you had told me that there was an Asgardian settlement on Earth -- well, first I didn’t believe you, but nevertheless I imagined something more grand.”

“Are you insulting our home? Be careful, some might take that as a challenge.” He turned to see a woman wearing a knitted jumper and raising an eyebrow. But she wore that sweater like a golden raiment, exuding an aura of power. In her bearing she could have been one of the valkyries of old. Loki immediately schooled his face into his usual disinterested mask so as to not give anything away. But his blankness was immediately wiped away as she pulled him into a crushing hug. 

“Thor told me you were alive, but I did not believe it.” She pushed him back, “You will have to explain why you stayed away so long. But later. Now we are just glad to have you back.”

Loki was reeling.

And he stayed reeling as Thor called out his name, “Loki! Over here!” Over here was a woman with a young child. “This is Gunhild -- of course you don’t remember, but you delivered her first child after Asgard was destroyed.”

The woman -- Gunhild -- thrust the child forward, “It is so good to see you again, my lord,” she said, “I’ve told my daughter so many stories about you.”

Loki’s mouth was on autopilot, “Thank you. What a delightful child.”

Gunhild laughed, “Well, she’s got your spirit, but that’s what you expect, I suppose, when you name your child after a trickster.” Loki did a double take at the surly looking girl.

“You named your child…” Loki trailed off.

“Loki, of course. Tough I was far from the only one, my child is the eldest Loki in the village.” In the background Thor was beaming at them, a mere moment away from clapping them both on the back, Loki could tell.

“He’s not that impressive,” the child Loki piped up, surly, “I’m still the best Loki.”

“Yes you are,” Thor intoned, but his eyes were sparkling, “but since it’s Loki’s first day here, let’s let him pretend, all right?” Child Loki gave adult Loki such a glare he was surprised he did not wither, but she nodded and ran off.

Loki did not have a moment to recover because the promised backslap from Thor materialised. “Come! You must meet my other friends, they’ve missed you as well.”

“Oh, good,” Loki managed faintly.

***

Korg and Meek were strange. They acted completely unsurprised to see Loki, like friends returned from the dead regularly, but what did Loki know, perhaps that was the case.

He was slowly coming to the realisation that Thor had not been lying to him about some of the other Loki’s adventures. At the very least Loki had to acknowledge there was another Loki. 

Thor could have convinced the shameful excuse for a pirate crew to pull a deception on Loki, but assembling an entire Asgardian village seemed a bridge too far.

Unfortunately he was having this realisation while being utterly humiliated in this game for children. He’d focused on crafting some fortifications, which appeared to be a mistake as another character parachuted inside of his walls and attempted to aim at him with a gun that appeared to shoot bubbles. Earth was strange.

“Better luck next time, mate,” Korg said, “these kids are vicious, eh?”

“Indeed.”

Thor was sitting in the corner, drinking, smiling any time Loki looked over, but when Thor thought Loki wasn’t looking, his face was blank, staring into the distance. Since Thor had been nothing short of manic on the previous occasions Loki had run into him since escaping New York, it seemed like there might be something going on with him.

Loki was trying to determine if he cared, and if so, if he should say something, when child Loki burst into the cottage.

“You should come down,” she ordered, “they’ve put on your favourite play.” Loki looked around, but she seemed to be talking to him.

“Mine?” He asked.

She rolled her eyes and walked out.

***

“I didn’t do it for him,” the actor impersonating Loki said, “I did it for you.” The actor playing Thor blubbered and stammered, and the assembled Asgardians all wept.

Loki started calculating how fast he could escape.

Except.

It felt true. Well, not the hysterics and melodrama, but the story. His mother, dying with him powerless to save her. Working with Thor to avenge her death and dying himself.

“Of course, you did not die at this time,” Thor murmured behind him, close enough for Loki to feel the rumble through his chest. “You merely appeared to die and took over the throne disguised as Odin. But still.”

Loki couldn’t deny it any more. This place, all of the people, he couldn’t argue it away. There had been another Loki. And that Loki had been esteemed, and honourable, and...loved. All of the things Thor had said were true. Loki, saviour of Asgard. 

That Loki was gone. All there was left was himself. Still clever and powerful, but not Loki-that-was. Time travel hurt the head.

So Loki put all of that aside, it was too much to think about when not distracted by the game they called ‘Fortnite.’ If Loki thought about it now, he couldn’t predict how he would react. And if he’d learned anything from his mother, it was to wait and bide until he could master himself.

So he merely said, “So where is my golden statue?”

Thor laughed, but it was wet. Loki pretended not to notice.

***

By some agreement Loki was not privy to, they were both staying in Thor’s cabin. And since it was a small cabin, there was only one bed. Loki had not been sure they would fit, but Thor was insistent and the bed had seemed to be ample enough.

His first thought was earthquake but when he snapped his eyes open and saw that Stormbringer was still safely hanging on the wall opposite, he realised the shaking was localised to the bed.

Then the whimpering began.

There were words behind that whimper. “Mother…” Loki was able to make out. His heart clenched. Not seeing his mother again was Loki’s biggest regret and he missed her fiercely. He could understand why Thor might be thinking about her after all of this time.

Loki placed a hand gently on Thor’s shoulder. “Thor,” he changed tacks, “Brother. Wake up.”

Thor gasped, and flailed out, grabbing tightly onto Loki.

“I dreamed you died.” Thor’s voice was hoarse, damaged from the weight of sleep. Thor held on for a second, then seemed to come more awake. He quickly released Loki’s hand and swung his legs over the side of the bed, sitting up with his head in his hands.

Confused, Loki cleared his throat. “I’m right here,” he said, with an unfortunate rising tone at the end, like he himself was not sure.

“No,” Thor said. “Loki died.” His voice was even. Empty.

Given that Loki had been thinking that earlier, he should have been glad that Thor had finally caught up with the reality of the situation. But instead Loki burned at the unfairness of it. He was coming in second to his own self. It made him want to rage. Had he not reigned mischief down across the galaxy? Had he not bested the heptarch of Arcturus IV? Wasn’t he the one who had outwitted and outlasted all of his foes and half of his friends? 

Had he not survived?  Thor was lucky to have him.

Thor had clearly infected him with notions of family and brotherhood. Otherwise he could not explain what he did next, which was to reach out and touch Thor on the shoulder.

Thor didn’t shake his hand off. 

“He died. But I’m here.” Loki wished he could see Thor’s face, but it was dark and even if it was light, Thor did not turn towards him.

The pause went on for a long time, and just as Loki was going to draw back his hand, Thor shuddered.

“But for how long,” Thor asked with no inflection.

Loki shrugged, and then realised Thor could not see that in the darkness. He thought about saying,  _ I’ve changed my mind, let’s team up, I’ll join your crew and I might even leave off torturing the human.  _ But he wasn’t sure Thor would believe him. And in fairness, Loki wasn't sure be believed himself.

So he offered something he thought they could both accept, “How about tonight,” Loki asked. “I can stay for tonight.”

In response, Thor simply lay down and let Loki be the one to pull Thor in, for once, his bigger frame easily settling in against the curve of Loki’s body. And like that, they fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are loved!


End file.
